Lies
by Lanelle Black
Summary: She seemed to be a mature and realized woman... but when you looked close her life was a mess, badldy suported by so many lies... He seemed to have accepted the way things were... but he knew he would fight until the end to get what he wanted. AsuCag.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Note: This fanfiction is settled in 86CE.

……..

Before she knew, her hand has reached that ring_. Those rings._ Her fingers kept playing with the cold metal while she looked to the computer's screen paying no attention on it.

She sighed. She completely hated days like that, when for some reason her attention just seemed to disperse all the time. OK, it was a big lie saying that she didn't know why her attention dispersed.

It was because her lack o capacity in organizing her own life. If you looked close, everything was a mess badly supported, so fragile…

And now she was apprehensive, and no way could concentrate in her work.

She sighed again and then lay in her chair. Her fingers searched another time for the necklace in her pocket. There were two rings in it. One was made by white gold and had a ruby gem. The other, was the completely opposite. It was made with gold and had sapphire gem.

She peered at them for a while. That really wasn't a good day. In that mourning something impelled her bring that necklace. Some weakness she thought she hadn't. That she couldn't have.

What was that for? Did she wake up needing support to keep living?

She suddenly felt ashamed for being weak.

She never liked feeling that way, so damn human.

By that time she was supposed to have learned to be a strong woman and learned that she couldn't just flee from weakness.

She sighed again.

A noise broke her self dialogue. Someone was asking permission to enter in the room. She conceded.

"Hi!" said a woman with long brown hair and black eyes. She was wearing the same kind of purple outfit.

"Hi, Marilyn." said Cagalli without emotion.

Ignoring lack of animation in her friend, Marilyn sat in one sofa.

"So? Aren't you going home?"

"When I finish it…" said Cagalli. _And it won't be soon, _she thought.

"Bad hair day?" asked the brunette.

"If a bad hair was my problem I would be jumping in happiness."

"Yeah. I know."

Cagalli's face became depressed.

"Well, if you brought that necklace the day is being hard."

Cagalli didn't answered, but put the necklace back in her pocket.

"Shouldn't you go home? It's late." Marilyn asked. "It's almost midnight." She completed

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"And what you are doing here?"

"Searching for a husband."

"Very funny." said Cagalli closing the laptop and phoning someone to call her driver.

"What time will you fly, tomorrow?"

"Nine."

"Have you already packed?"

"Yes." While the conversation was taking place Cagalli was organizing the papers in her desk and checking her agenda, and Marilyn was seated in the sofa, just watching and smiling.

"What?" Cagalli asked.

"Nothing." said Marilyn, but kept the smile in her lips.

Cagalli put the laptop in her bag and went to the door of her room. Marilyn stood. The both walked in silence to the elevator. Cagalli knew she kept that irritant smile, and Marilyn knew that Cagalli wasn't in a very good mood.

"Enjoy your time in Aprilius City" she said, in the elevator. "Do me a favor… have some fun!" Marilyn couldn't hide her smile.

"Want a ride?" said Cagalli ignoring the last comment.

"No. I have my own car, thank you" she said.

"Please, think in what I said." Marilyn insisted, when they went out the elevator and Cagalli's driver was already waiting.

"Goodbye." said Cagalli walking toward the car.

"Goodbye." said Marilyn walking toward her own.

She put down her bag in a desk, and walked to the sofa. On the way she threw away her shoes and took off her jacket.

Just then she loose herself in the sofa, sighing.

"What a wonderful day." She said sarcastic.

After time in that position, she reunited forces to stand and went to the corner of the room, where was a little wine-cellar. She served herself a cup of wine, and coming back to the sofa, delighted herself with the delicacy, a very expensive delicacy. But it was after all the only thing in that she really spent money on.

When she finished, she lazily walked on corridors, until reach the one of her room.

She stopped in front of a door.

She breathed, and then entered.

Something made her stops in the middle of the room, and just observe, smiling maybe for the first time in the day.

Then she broke her observing position and walked to the bed.

She seated in the floor and caressed a blond hair, looking with affection to that little girl…. No she wasn't a little girl anymore, or at least wasn't going to be for much time.

_She is growing up._ Cagalli thought.

Who would know that even she would became a sticky mother?

Well, she didn't.

She stood and kissed the girl in the cheek.

"Good night sweet."

The girl didn't move. She was in deep asleep.

In silence, Cagalli left the room.

She wasn't the best mother in the world, by far, and she knew it. She was always working, and traveling. A lot of times, they would only see each other in the mourning when they ate breakfast together, because when Cagalli came back from work Alice was already sleeping.

She was nothing but a normal and modern mother, divided between her work and her daughter.

When Alice was younger, she used to work in home on the mourning, then they could spent more time together.

But now Alice went to school on mourning (and afternoon), and their time together had decreased.

In less than eight hours, she would fly to the PLANT, and they would meet again only on the weekend, in four days.

Cagalli sighed, rose, and went to her own room.

Her luggage had been previously packed. If it was her to choose all her clothes, that would have one suitcase, not the three that were in the corner.

She threw herself on the bed and just then remembered what was in her pocket.

She observed the necklace with the two rings.

_You have keep calm. They will meet on the Sunday…and there is no reason you should be afraid of it… _

But something was wrong. She felt something wasn't alright.

What the hell was she afraid for?

"Could you answer to me Edward?" She said to the portrait, where a picture of a blond short haired man with blue eyes smiled to her.

"I am afraid of something that I don't know what is it…" she said. "But I won't break my promise."

She said… no longer after she fell asleep.

"Alice, we'll see each other Saturday. It's everything settled. If I couldn't come to get you, I'll arrange someone to do it."

"Ok, Mom… Just…"

"What?"

"Sent someone that is not a driver; please…" she asked.

"OK." She said, embracing the child. "I promise."

"Will we visit Kira and Lacus?"

"Of course we will…"

Alice smiled.

"I want to eat aunt Lacus' apple pie."

"I will ask Lacus to do for you."

One man with a black suit notified Cagalli that the plane was ready.

She embraced the girl again, and then left the mansion, toward the airport, where a few assessors were boarding on her plane.

She joined then.

The journey was normal; they discussed the itinerary, which included speeches, meeting, visits and reunions. No one would guess they and the rest of the retinue had discussed the same subjects on the previous day from 8 o'clock to 11 o'clock.

The discussion went for hours and even during the lunch, they discussed. When it finished Cagalli felt relieved.

"Madame Athha." said her secretary.

"Yes?"

"The reunion with the ambassador today on 5 o'clock is confirmed."

"Right."_ Confirmed for the hundredth time. _

She looked outside the window. She could see the PLANTs, her arrival wouldn't long. She would go straight to the hotel…_ and them to the reunion with 'the ambassador'… and on the weekend… they would met. _

Her cell phone rang.

"Hi Cagalli"

"Hi Lacus."

"Are you coming to dinner on Saturday?"

"Sure, like I've settled with Kira yesterday."

"So I am going to do the apple pie for Alice."

"Yeah. You know, is you fault that she adore the pie, now you have to do it always."

"I am not complaining. Perhaps you should learn how to do it…"

"No, out of question. I don't cook."

"Ok, Ok."

"Are you arriving?"

"In less than one hour. Thank God."

"Well, I have to work now… See you on the Wednesday."

"See you."

She had forgotten she have a meeting with Lacus_…_To talk about politics…

She threw herself on the hotel bed. She had almost an hour to do nothing. For her, almost an hour was time.

She could take a bath, a very long bath in a bath-tub.

And it was what she did.

She would have a reunion in less than two hours…Why the hell she couldn't just take it like a normal meeting?

And why the in hell he had brought the cell phone to the bathroom?

_Someone may call. _

"I know who you want to call and he is too busy doing his job. And this time will be different, this is going to far already…." She said to herself, not sure she believed or not in what she was saying.

She was uneasy while putting her black suit. She was uneasy while walking to through the hotel. She gathered with the retinue, and they went by car to the embassy.

_Another reunion… _she was tired of these endless reunions to talk about the same thing. Well, no one said it was easy to rule a country. But she needed vacations… not just form her work… maybe form her life. Marilyn was right; she needed to have some fun.

And just then she realized that she was there. The car stopped. She went out. But then she smiled. She was after all a veteran in all of this. And she had no time to regret or be afraid. These were for another hour.

"Madame Representative." said the ambassador.

"Ambassador Zala." She answered. Smiling.

They shook hands and faced each other.

She saw his eyes examine her. She did the same.

He was gorgeous, like he had always been. Even more, she dared to say. Something in his emeralds eyes, in her smell, in the way he walked attracted her.

And she know by the way he looked back, he feel the same for her.

She could feel herself a woman under those eyes.

It endured only a few seconds. They went back to reality when they hand parted away.

He greeted the others. And in the same time, Cagalli breathe and assumed a professional conduct, a conduct that would prevail all the night, all the reunion, for both.

There was no space for flirts, changing meaningful look or alike. That was the way they have always behaved on work. Always.

The reunion last for more than two hours.

And they parted at the end. Cagalli went to her hotel but couldn't just rest. She was too anxious… like waiting something… _no you're not waiting for anything… _

"I need Whisky." She said to herself.

She tried to avoid thinking. Thinking would just bring her worries and she didn't want that.

_He is gorgeous. _She sighed. She couldn't help. What the hell had happened with '_This time will be different'_?

The seconds, or minutes, maybe hours, passed. And then she decided to change, and actually drink some Whisky in the bar, and for the hell with her reputation. She was grown up and responsible.

She changed her clothes.

_Give up. _She said to herself when she looked at the cell phone, again. _Give up… _And she went to the door, facing the cell phone that was resting in a table.

She wasn't sure she was prepared to leave it in the room.

_Go… step out of this room Cagalli… NOW! _

But then the cell phone rang and she ran to the desk to answer.

It was him.

"Hi." She said, answering.

"Hi." He said, on the other line. He looked hesitant.

Silence.

Thinking now, if she knew him, and she guess she did, he should have spent the last ten minutes in front of the phone, convincing himself to call.

"Long time we didn't see each other." She said.

"Yeah. Four months."

"Yeah."

"How are you doing?" She asked.

"Fine. You?"

"Fine too."

"So, did already found yourself a beautiful girlfriend over here?" She said, sarcastic.

"No. Unfortunately" he said, entering in the play.

"What a pity."

"Yeah. Maybe I am searching in the wrong place."

"Yeah. Maybe."

Silence._ This play is despicable_, she thought. _Why everything has to be so complicated? _

"Want to go out? Dinner?" He asked.

"Go to some snob restaurant full of people that will be looking at us?"

"Actually I could cook something for us."

"That would be charming."

He laughed.

"Where are you?"

"Coming. In five minutes."

"OK."

He closed the phone, and opened the window of the car, letting the breeze dishevel his hair. He was smiling. He missed her voice. Actually he missed everything on her.

In five minutes he stopped the car in the second entrance of the hotel. _As always. _No one would notice then there.

She was already there, waiting. She entered in the car.

They changed looks.

He speed up.

N/A… wow… I love this end. XD

-- Just to people to know, English isn't my native language, so of course I have a lot of difficulties in writing it, and I may mistaken some things, or even not detail as much as I wanted, but I'm working hard to make a good story.

--Yes, twelve years after Destiny.

-- I'll be placing the next chapter in more like two weeks XD.

Hope you enjoy. XD

Ps. I love reviews


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

"So what will you cook?"

"Omelet is okay for you?"

She laughed.

"Omelet is perfect."

He lived in an apartment, not to large, enough for someone who lived alone. Cagalli had been there before, a few times.

It was very clean for a single man. He was very organized, the opposite of her.

He led her to the kitchen.

"I am starving, after that very exciting reunion." Cagalli said, ironic, while Athrun placed the ingredients on a desk.

"Yep. We have a meeting with Lacus on two days, right?"

"Yeah. I had forgotten that you will escort me as my ambassador."

She went to help him and they end up making the omelet together.

They ate in the living room, talking about trivialities.

"You said you would cook for me, not with me!" She complained in the end of the dinner.

"I am sorry. I owe you a dinner, so."

"Yeah, you do."

They stood in silence, just observing each other.

"Cagalli…"

"What?"

"Alice is coming on the weekend, right?"

"Yeah. Right."

"Good." He smiled, hesitant.

She looked at him, confused. So it was about this she was afraid. _Why in the hell everything has to be so complicated?_

They kept in silence for a while. That was a delicate matter.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I am not."

He stretched his hands, and touched her cheek.

"I missed you." He finally said what he was urging to say all the night.

But in his eyes, Cagalli could see that there were some things he didn't dare to say. But those were the thing that needed to be said. They couldn't hold off this for ever… she couldn't.

"I know. I missed you too." She answered.

With no more word, he bent and kissed her. She corresponded.

The kiss grew deeper. They lips, theirs hands, their bodies had missed each other. Badly.

_Urgency. Hast. Desire. Passion. Love. _

An eddy of emotions and feelings.

There was no past to worry about that night. No future. Just they, just the present, and the moments they shared.

Late at night, Cagalli went back to the hotel. She left Athrun sleeping.

It wasn't what she wanted to do. But it was what she knew she should. She had a meeting in the mourning.

Besides, she knew that she stayed any further, she may not want to leave at all, and then, it would hurt… _more…_

He woke up in the mourning feeling dizzy, she wasn't there. Everything could have been just a dream. The proofs were only the acid smell of her perfume in the pillow, and the dirty dishes in his table.

Nothing more.

­

The three days that followed went full of meetings and reunions, and visits, and speeches, like it was planed, nor more or less. It was Friday, and the itinerary was almost complete.

To Cagalli it meant that the acting would soon over, even if just for a while. She loved politics that was a fact, but for her that trips weren't about politics, were about construct a public image for Orb and for herself. That was indeed important, but she preferred to be in her office solving real problems, not chatting with the Chairman of PLANTs about things that were in the essence, trivialities.

Yes, of course, in one of those meetings, they showed the intentions from both side to increase the commerce between the PLANTs and Orb…

"The Foreign Minister of PLANTs asked to change the meeting tomorrow from 4h to 5h on the afternoon." said Maria, her assessor.

"Our minister agreed with that?

"Yes." She answered.

"So it's settled?"

"Not if you disagree."

_It would cause a bad impression…_

"I don't you should disagree ma'am, he asked politely and you are the visitor…" said Nick, another of her assessor.

"Yes, that's right. Inform him that I accept the change."

"Yes ma'am."

_Shit. Now who will get Alice in the airport? I promised her that I__ wouldn't send some driver. She hates it… Shit… I was hoping I could do it… _

"Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom." Cagalli said, and left the room.

Instead of going to the bathroom she went to some emptied part of the hotel. And then she took her cell phone.

_I am really going to do that… _

"Cagalli?" A voice answered in the other side of the line.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah. If I wasn't I wouldn't say your name aloud."

"I need to ask you something."

"What?"

"Can you get Alice in the airport tomorrow by 6:30?"

"Yes. Of course I can."

"Listen, she will come in my personal plane, Mana will be with her but she will just let her here and come back to Orb, so you don't need to worry about her.

"OK"

"Her luggage is going to be sent to the hotel so no need to worry about this too."

"Right."

"Take her to Lacus, I will meet you there. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am…" he said, ironic "Calm down Cagalli."

"They've changed the time of my meeting tomorrow and this mess up with all my plans." She complained.

"Don't worry; I will get her for you."

"Thanks."

"Are you free tonight?"

"In less than one hour, I guess. I call you later to confirm."

"Done."

That was a tough mission; arrange time to see him in the middle of a business trip. But it was always like this. Even if they both were exhausted they would seize all the opportunities they had to see each other, even if they were very few, like this time.

She came back to the room, and to the reunion.

"I am on the airport." He answered the phone.

"You don't need to bring her straight away here, you know? Why don't you take her to some place or…?"

"She should be tired, and hungry, besides I would ruin your dinner if I took her to eat at some place."

"Don't worry about it! I just made the cake, the rest was my cook. So no, I won't be disappointed."

"Cagalli will be mad."

"Uau, Zala! How many excuses can you make? You are afraid, aren't you?"

"No Lacus, I am not."

"Liar! Take her to the shopping mall, eat an ice cream… improvise. Good luck!" And then she turned off the phone.

_Lacus is right, is just a eleven year's old girl… _

He felt like when he was adolescent and wanted to cause a good impression.

It had been four months since he saw her, and he was terrified; at least until he saw her, and Mana, entering in the hall of the airport.

Then, for some reason, he relaxed and smiled at the sight of the blond girl. She looked a lot like the mother.

He walked towards they, calm, something, some internal voice was telling him that there wasn't anything to be afraid of.

She saw him, and smiled.

"Athrun-san!" She said, and ran for him.

He bent and hugged her.

"You mother couldn't come…"

"Yeah. She said. She's a workaholic."

We all are, he thought, referring to him, Cagalli, Lacus and Kira.

"Don't you say such a thing about your mother, Alice!" Mana replied the girl before he could.

"Sorry" Alice said, looking regretted.

He turned to Mana and they faced each other for a moment. She smiled, gave him a few recommendations about Alice, answered his questions about her back trip, and finally seemed ready o come back.

"So. I am done here. I am coming back to Orb." she said, looking from Alice to Athrun.

She said goodbye and turn around, to came back to the gate that she had came.

"So. What you want to do?"

"I thought we were going to Lacus-san and Kira-san house, from here."

"We have time. Your mother will go only by 7h30."

"Ok, then. There is a mall around here?"

"I believe so."

"Can we go there? I need to find a book"

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No. I ate sandwich in the plane. Unless it's for an ice cream, then I am hungry." She smiled to him.

He laughed.

"So, let's have an ice cream. I think there is a mall over here where we can find a really good ice cream."

"And a bookstore?"

"And a bookstore. Have you finished Harry Potter yet, the last time we saw you were in the fourth, weren't you?"

"Yeah. Now I am in the five. But I saw all the movies then I already know what is going to happen… But the book is cooler than the movie."

He smiled to her while they walked to the parking.

Like always, she peered at the car for a while, with admiration.

"I let you drive, when you get enough age."

"It will long!"

"So, you will have to wait."

"That's not fair!"

She observed the city.

"Do you like living here?" She asked.

"Yes I do."

"Don't you miss anything from Orb?"

_Yes,__ I miss… _

"I only lived there for a couple of years… but… I can say that I miss the sunset."

"Here there is no sunset. It's strange."

"Yeah. It is." He said, thinking about it.

"I would miss the sea too."

"Well, I know that isn't the same but there is a big water park somewhere here"

"Really?"

"Yep, really"

"And you've never went there?"

"No…"

"What a waste"

He laughed, she was as sincere as her mother, at al.

"Here we are!" He said, stopping the car.

"Already?"

"I said it was near."

"So, where you want to go first?"

"Eat the ice cream, of course."

She said, smiling.

Athrun observed her while they walked in the mall, like the mother she had no difficult in speaking with people. She was wise. She wanted to know everything, and she observed everything. The girl fascinated him.

Whenever he was with her, he kept smiling.

A soft and sad smile.

The motorist let her in the garden of the mansion. She walked to the door, which was already open.

"I know I am late!" She said to Kira, by the time she put his eyes on him. And then she hugged him tight.

"As you said you are late, the food is cold, and it's everybody waiting for you."

"Alice is here, right?"

"No, actually, Athrun ran away with her."

"WHAT??"

"Just kidding!! I don't believe you fall in there!"

"Not funny Kira, neither a bit funny."

"For me was."

They talked while he led her inside, to the garden in the back of the house where were everybody. A desk had been placed there.

She hugged Lacus.

"Alice is inside playing video game with Athrun." Lacus said.

"Sorry for coming one hour late… but the Minister didn't finish his speech…"

"Believe me, we all know how it is." Said Lacus, with a meaningful face.

Cagalli smiled back, and went to see her daughter, who stopped the game to hug her. She asked about the trip, and all the usual questionnaire of the mothers.

And then looked to Athrun, he was looking at then. She greeted him, and so did him, and kept looking at each other for a few seconds.

"Who is wining?"

Alice kept quiet. That meant that wasn't she.

"I am."

"For just five points!"

"But I am wining!"

"Not for too long." She said, coming back to play with him.

Cagalli looked one last time to then, and came back to the garden.

"So, how are you?" She asked Lacus and Kira.

"Fine."

"Any news?"

"No." Kira answered. "Unless you want to talk about politics."

"No thank you. I am done with politics for today."

"I guess so." Kira said. "Want to dinner? Alice already ate."

"I am going to call Athrun." said Laucs.

"So, how are you two doing?" Kira asked.

"As usual."

"And that is supposed to mean that you both will keep seeing each other about four times a year?"

"I think so."

Kira sighed, looking a little bit angry with her.

"And you and Lacus? Aren't you going to have a baby?"

"Not for now, not while she is at the Council."

"I see."

"And don't try to change the subject." Kira said. "It won't work."

She looked at him and smiled.

"Things are complicated. Very complicated."

"I know." He ended the arguing. There was no point in insisting with her. She was too stubborn, and she wouldn't listen.

Then Lacus and Athrun arrived, and the four went to dinner.

By the end of the night, they were drinking and talking about trivialities.

"It's getting late." Cagalli commented. "Where is Alice?"

"I will check her." said Athrun, and before Cagalli could protest, he stood up and went inside the house.

The silence then went uneasy, with Kira peering at Cagalli who ignored and Lacus just watching not knowing what to do.

"I'll get more wine." said Lacus.

"I'll help." said Cagalli, only to escape of Kira. She could swear he would insist in the converse they had sooner.

They went to the kitchen, but by the door, Cagalli could observe Athrun covering Alice, who was sleeping in the sofa, he caressed her head while playing softly with her hair.

"I know isn't easy..." Lacus started.

"You too? You know, you and Kira really match!"

"I am not trying to give you a moral lesson. I am not the best person to do it." she said, with a sad voice.

"Is it everything fine, Lacus?" Cagalli asked.

"Yes. It is."

"Now you are the liar."

She just smiled, and even if Cagalli knew that anything wasn't fine with her, she knew too that Lacus wouldn't talk about it, being as stubborn as herself. The difference was that Lacus wouldn't talk because she didn't want to throw her problems in someone else, while herself wouldn't talk because she was afraid, because she had been hurt enough. They all had.

"We are getting old, aren't we?" asked Lacus.

"Are we?" she asked. She didn't feel old, even if Lacus was right.

"I am going to 31 years."

"Me too."

"It's weird, isn't it?"

"Indeed."

"Let me guess, you don't give a damn, and never came closer to one anti-aging cream."

"Not exactly." She said a little bit shy.

"Really, do you use one?"

"Actually, more than one."

Lacus Laughed.

"You know, I have one rack filled up with this kind of cream" Lacus said.

"I have some."

"Some?"

"A few…" said Cagalli, still shy.

"I see."

"But I won't paint my hair!" said Cagalli to strength her moral.

"No?"

"No. I think white will combine with me."

Lacus laughed

"Just you Cagalli!"

N/A. Hi

I decided to update sooner XD.

Enjoy


	3. Chapter 3

Chatear 3

Chatear 3.

The next day was spent in the same way. Cagalli, Athrun e Alice lunched in Lacus house, and while Alice played video game or read, they chatted. They didn't mentioned complicated subjects, just trivialities.

In the surface everything looked all right, and really was. During that day they could forget the problems, and just be with friends, family and lovers. That was one of those moments in life when everything seems just perfect. When even problems looked to be a distant thinking, belong to a distant time.

But when the afternoon came, Cagalli and Alice had to come back home.

"I'll take you to airport."

"No, you don't need to do this Athrun…"

"I insist." He said, looking into her amber eyes.

"Ok, then."

He finally drove then to the airport, after all the delaying that Lacus and Kira provided once they knew it was her plane after all and it could wait for her. Their luggage would come straight from the hotel so they didn't have to worry about this, and that helped extending the stay for a few hours.

Once in the airport, Alice readily asked to go to the bookstore.

"Mom… there is a bookstore here! Can I go in?"

"Sure… but Alice you know very well the book will only be released in a month in Orb, and I don't see why here would be different " – She answered.

"I know…" said Alice, but she went to see the stores anyway.

Athrun kept in Cagalli side, both in silence, after a time, they turned and she looked at him.

"Cagalli…"

"What?" She was waiting. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she was waiting for that with all her being, like some words of that man could modify all her life.

He was going to turn to her, but hesitated.

"Nothing… nothing that you don't know already."

"I see." She said. The same way that all the expectation came in, it had gone. "The same for you." She said.

"It's getting late. I have to go." She said. She went to the bookstore and called Alice. The girl hugged Athrun and said goodbye.

Just then the two faced again.

"Goodbye." He said

"Goodbye." She said and with that turned her back from him, walking with her daughter to the gate. She didn't look back.

The girl did.

After a few moments he was the one too turned and went his own way.

"So, where do you want to go?" Asked Cagalli. That was as a free day. Cagalli herself couldn't believe at it at first. Of course she had taken this day off by herself, but the feeling of doesn't having to work for a hole day was too god.

So, she could pass a great time with her daughter, although it was a Sunday and Alice had classes.

"To the movies!" The girl answered straight.

They were eating breakfast at the veranda, the day was sunny, there was a fresh breeze and the sky was blue. What they could ask more?

"See what?"

"Gundam 00 (1)!!" She said.

"Again?"

"Yes, again… come on, is awesome!!"

"And after?"

"We could dinner pizza…"

"That is a good idea!"

"Mom…"

"What sweet?"

"Do I really have to go to school today?" She smiled, trying to convince the mother.

"Let me se… of course?"

"That was quickly." She said.

"And go dress yourself, or you will be late."

"Can you drive me to school today?" She asked with the eyes shining.

"Right." Cagalli said, and stood up.

She cheered in happiness and Cagalli felt guilty. She almost never did that, and Alice always saw the other parents doing it, so she should miss it. And to complete, since her four years, she had no paternal figure.

Cagalli changed her clothes, and took her daughter to school. Alice kept all the time speaking. Anyone could see that she was happy. Perhaps Cagalli could arrange some time and do it more often…

_If only I could arrange__ some time… I am one of the busiest people in the world, and that wasn't a joke… _

She let the girl, and saw a lot of mothers and fathers doing the same. Actually all of then seemed to be looking at her.

She saw Alice come inside the school and wave to her. She waved in return, and just parted when the girl ran to her friends.

After that, she passed all the mourning working, working and working on her laptop.

It reminded her when Alice was a child, and she did it everyday, while escaping to play with the baby Alice was. She was fascinated with the girl that time. Well, she still, but that time she was young, and everything seemed to be possible…

She interrupted her idealistic dream and came back to work.

It was too easy after all make up the past so it would look beautiful and cause a nostalgic feeling. The truth is that it was as good as bad. Some memories, some feelings were devastating… but some were just wonderful.

_Beautiful, but I really have work to be done! _ She reminded herself for the third time.

At least, after that she could concentrate.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked when she saw her mother waiting for her in her car. Not a driver, her mother.

"Didn't you like? I just thought we could lunch in some restaurant… to vary."

She smiled even more. That was a really unusual day. Her mother usually never took her to the school and even more, get her to lunch out.

"Aren't you going to enter in the car?"

"Oh, yeah. Right." She entered in the car.

"Where?"Cagalli asked.

"McDonald's?" Alice suggested, hesitant.

Cagalli peered deeply at her deciding.

"Just for today won't get habituate."

Alice cheered.

They desk was in front of the beach, so they ate feeling the breeze. After that, they went to the movies; see the one Alice wanted to see for the fourth time, (the second with Cagalli). The cine they went was inside a shopping, so they walked and saw stores after.

They had dinner and just then went to home. Cagalli was as tired as after a day of work, but was obviously happier than after a day of work.

She had a good feeling when she expelled Alice from the front of the television and told her to go to sleep, then kissed her and wished good night.

A really good feeling.

"Hi Kira! Everything is fine?" She asked after answering the phone.

"Short of… Listen, I have to ask you something…"

"Speak."

"Did Lacus say something to you last weekend?"

"Something like?" questioned Cagalli who was seated in her office, feeling this conversation to be very strange.

"I don't know something unusual."

"No, not that I remember…"

"Did you think she was a little strange?"

"Yeah, maybe… What is happening Kira?"

"I don't know! I don't have any idea! She's not speaking to me! Whenever I try to talk about it she says that is a headache, or that is nothing… I don't know what to do anymore!"

"You know, probably she doesn't want to bother you with her problems…"

"Yes I know it, but how could we share a life if she tries to live her alone?"

Cagalli hasn't the answer to that question.

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea."

They stood in silence, for a while. Cagalli didn't know what to say.

"How are you going?" He asked.

"Me? Like usual. Working." She answered.

"Can… can I ask you for the next time you see Lacus you'll try to talk to her?"

"Of course but I don't know when I am going to see her. It can long a few months Kira."

"You are right… I have to go."

"Bye."

"Bye."

She turned off the phone. So that night Lacus seemed strange wasn't something ordinary. She was with a problem and didn't share with anyone.

Cagalli felt urge to help, to talk to her and to get her speaking. But if Lacus wasn't telling even to Kira who was her husband, why she would tell her?

In that day Cagalli received another strange phone call, but this time all the words spoken interfered into her own life, and more than she could presume in the time.

"I am going to Orb." He said.

"Why?" She asked.

"I can't speak through the phone."

"Athrun, what the hell is it?"

"Listen, once I am there, I will check in at the hotel, and then we can go out or something?"

"Stop avoiding my questions!"

"I've told you, what I have to say can't be said through the phone."

"So, you are coming to Orb just to say something for me?"

"Kind of…"

"Kind of??"

"I will come tomorrow. Will you go out with me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes you have one; you can listen to what I have to say.

"Good." She said sarcastic.

"It's a yes?"

"Kind of, Zala."

"Right. Tomorrow at 9 PM?"

"Ok."

"Where?"

She hesitated, she wanted a discreet place.

"Do you know the café Realejo?"

"Near the beach. Yeah."

"There."

"Ok. See you."

"Goodbye Zala." She said, with an annoyed voice.

The desks were in the open air, at the second floor. It wasn't a point, so they would have some privacy. But only some, once they were public people.

She past in home to change her clothes, and while she dressed, she felt weird for going out with him in Orb, weird and anxious.

She wasn't sure if that café was the best place. She wasn't sure if she should go, she was worried that their relationship could become public. But, why this was a bad thing? Why shouldn't it become public? Why she would be afraid of what people would think of her? She wasn't a young and naïve girl anymore. She didn't need people approval anymore.

But there was another point, the conversation. What he wanted so much to tell her? What would make he come to Orb? She was scared, and trembling, and anxious.

But she went. She took her car's keys and went there.

He was already there, drinking.

He was looking to nowhere, probably thinking.

She just observed. She wanted to run away, because in deep inside she knew how words were going to be said.

Something stopped her, although. Her legs didn't move, and while she looked at him apprehensive she realized something again. She realized that she could keep there, staring at him for the rest of her life. She just couldn't help it. She loved him.

_I love him… _

Then he looked around and theirs eyes met. He smiled gently. She smiled too and entered on the place.

"Hello." He said.

"Hi."

"I am glad you come."

She faced him. She didn't know what was happening, but she could feel that was going to hurt.

The garcon came and she asked Wine. Good knew she would need it.

"I want to quit being ambassador and come to Orb." He came to the point.

She didn't know she had heard it right.

_Yes, you did. He said it…__ you knew that soon or later, you would come to this... _

"Say something, please." He asked. He looked scared too.

_He is scared of me. _

"Fine. Don't come." The words came out her mouth.

"I was waiting for this."

"That was an announcement? Are you really coming?" She knew he meant it, but she needed to hear that again.

"Yes." There was no hesitation in his eyes this time.

"Why?"

"Don't you know?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes. I know."

They were interrupted for the garcon.

Cagalli drunk a few gulps of her wine.

"So, what exactly means 'quit being ambassador'?"

"I'll ask to be transferred."

"Then you are depending in me to accept you request."

He faced her. His look was deep, but Cagalli didn't move back hers.

"If you don't accept, your highness, I will have to manage."

She ignored the 'your highness' full of sarcasm.

"Cagalli, I don't want to complicate thing. They are already complicated."

"You will mess up even more… please Athrun…"

"I know I will" He said, and then stood. "Sorry I… I…I'll pay for your whisky." And he walked away.

She kept seated, not knowing what to do for some time. Then she stood and searched for him. When she saw he wasn't there anymore, she went to the street and when her eyes met his back, she kind of ran after him.

She wasn't thinking.

_What is happening here? _

"Now are you the one who are running away." She said when she reached him.

"Yes. I am sorry. I need to think…" he turned when he heard her voice. He seemed confused with the situation too."

"If you come..."

"I'll move Cagalli; there is no 'if'… And don't make this face!"

"Why don't you think more carefully about this and…"

"Let's talk later." He said. "…When you star to accept it."

"You are still depending on me to assign it!" She appealed.

"Are you going to make a show in the street? – He was angry at her.

She looked around, that indeed wasn't the best place to talk about it, there was already some people observing.

"Let's talk about it later."

She didn't answer, she just kept looking at him.

"Do you want a ride home?" he asked just to be educated.

"No, I have my car." She said.

"Fine. Goodbye."

"Bye."

He walked away, she looked at his back for a while then she turned.

N/A:

Merchandising.

If you are disposed, go and see Gundam 00. It's really good XD.

The last scene is (a lot) confusing… but is because both Athrun and Cagalli are confused… there is too unresolved things between them… that's why Athrun went to Orb… well, soon all the masks will start falling. XDDDDDDDDDDD

Enjoy


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Cagalli was furious. She could even kill someone, and she couldn't just come to home in this state. She needed to talk with someone, she needed to ask help, she needed to unburden… she needed to talk with someone, but it couldn't be Kira or Lacus, they had problems enough…

She picked the cell phone.

"Hi, Marilyn, are you busy?"

"No".

"Can I go to your place?"

"Did something happen?"

"Yes. Something definitely happened."

"Ok, come."

In then minutes, she pressed Marilyn's bell.

She opened the door.

"You look bad."

"I am bad!"

She seated in the sofa in the living room.

"What's happened Cagalli? You are scaring me!"

"He is coming!"

"He…?"

"Athrun Zala! – She screamed."

"What do mean with coming?"

"He wants to live in Orb!"

"Oh, shit…"

"Yeah."

"But Cagalli, you really didn't see it coming? I mean, you are having an affair for more than two years!"

"I know, but… Mary… you don't know even half." Cagalli said.

"Yeah, I realize that there are a lot of things that you didn't tell me."

"I am sorry but…"

"Don't be sorry, I am not you psychologist, I am your friend you don't have to explain your past to me."

"I know that, and thanks."

"You are welcome."

Cagalli smiled to her.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"Are you hungry; should I ask something?"

"No I don't feel like eating."

"Ok, then."

They stood a while in silence.

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea."

"Ok, let me see if I get. You love him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"And he loves you?"

"Yes."

"But for some reason you aren't happy because he is coming to live near you?"

"Yes."

"That's a hard one, so."

"I don't know if I should make in public. I mean…" she felted repulsion of herself for what she was going to say but she said. "he has a past, hasn't he?"

Mary looked at her. Not censuring, just surprise.

"What? He is son of Patrick Zala, and used to be a ZAFT's soldier?"

"Kind off."

"I thought you didn't care." She said, soft.

"I don't care! But people do! People judge me all time, for everything that I do! I am a public person. I've learned a long time ago that there are things I can't do…"

"But this is hypocrisy, Cagalli. You sleep with him, you say that you love him, but you can't assume it?"

"Yes, I know is hypocrisy. I am feeling a bitch right now… but this is the way we learned to live, always hiding."

"I don't think people really care about his last name. And believe me you don't need to kiss ass as much as you are trying to convince me."

Cagalli smiled.

"Well not as much as I needed fourteen years ago." She said to herself, but she knew Mary could hear. "Things are complicated, very complicated."

"I guess they are, even if I don't know exactly why."

"I'll tell you. And something says me that I will tell you soon. But for know, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok… You know, I think you should marry him."

Cagalli laughed.

"I won't marry anymore."

"What a stupid conviction!"

"No it's not."

"I understand, that it was very painful for you, I mean, widow so soon, and with a little child... but you should move on, Cagalli."

Cagalli stood in silence.

"If you don't move on, you can lose Athrun."

"I know…."

_And not just him… _

"You liar!" Cagalli said to him, thought the phone. "You said you wanted to quit being ambassador, you said you wanted to ask transference, you didn't say THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DID IT!"

"I guess I lied." He said calm.

"You bastard! You did it before I came to Aprilius and you didn't tell me anything!"

"You have the right to be mad at me." He kept calm.

"I AM very mad at you."

And she really was. The day after they met in the café, she entered in her office and saw a document in that Athrun Zala, requested to be transferred from ambassador to the Foreign Ministry, in Orb. And the requirement's date was placed two weeks before.

So, he had two weeks to talk to her, and just did it in the last minute. Of course he knew that if he had told it to her in PLANTs she wouldn't want to see his face and then he would lose the chance to sleep with her.

_Bastard_

"Will you accept it?"

"I don't know."

" Cagalli please… - He asked, with his soft voice. She couldn't help but to be tamed by his tone."

"Athrun…"

"I can't live this way anymore. I won't be absent of my life anymore."

"Do you think you can make it? That we can make it, after so much time?"

"I want to try…"

_Are you coming for me or…__? _

There were so many things she didn't want to touch or to disturb in her past, in her life, so many secrets and scars.

"Will you accept? – He asked again."

"Yes, I will."

"Thank you."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

She turned off the cell phone and hugged a pillow.

_Everything will be disturbed. Every fear, every pain will be mixed. __Anything will be left over... But… But I guess that is time to me to face my past, to us to face our past. Yes. It's more than time for it. _

She rose from the bed.

_Tomorrow is 10__th__ March. Eleven years had past… so much time… _

Cagalli couldn't sleep that night. She kept thinking, and thinking, but some way, while she was in her bed, resting in a comfortable pillow, and warmed by a soft blanket, the entire problems seemed far away, like she was observing a life which in that moment didn't exist.

Late of night, protected by the curtains, warmed and comfortable, nothing could disturb her.

_Nothing but cowardice, and delusion…_

At some point of the night, however, she realized that she didn't want to be in that fortress for ever. It wasn't worth.

She rose and took a shower. When she entered in room again and opened the curtains, she realized that wouldn't last long to the sun rise up.

"It's March 10." She said to herself.

She dressed as silent as she could, left the room and went to her car. In her way to somewhere she stopped in a bakery to buy something to eat.

She went to a flower shop too, and bought some white roses.

And just then she went to the graveyard. She knew exactly where his grave was.

Even if she was alone in a graveyard, it wasn't scary. In a way, it was beautiful. The sunrise illuminated the graved and the grass, and there was a cold mourning breeze.

"Hi, Edward." She said to the grave. "can you believe that if you were alive, we would be married for eleven years?..."

"I know you won't answer. I only ask you to listen to me like you always did. I miss that."

She seated in to the grass in front of the grave with his name, Edward Pfeiffer. She put the bouquet in the grave.

"There are some things happening that I can't stop. I don't know if I can all my promises anymore… I am sorry."

Tears started to fall from her eyes.

"You didn't have the right to die so soon." Her voice was a weak whisper. "not after you made me fall in love with you."

"I know in the beginning I disappointed you, and I know it started being a farce… but you made me love you. You did it. You complicated the things even more. You were the best husband someone could ever have. You supported me when I needed. You smiled to me, you cooked for me, and you made me like wine…"

_What in the hell I am saying? _

"But you messed things up. If I didn't fall for you, everything would have been easier." She said smiling. "But I am not regretful."

She sighed. What kind of woman talked to a grave? Well, she was used to do and to think things that most of people wouldn't understand.

"How could I hurt you so much, if I loved you?"

She felt guilty. Well, she was.

"If you could see me right now, you would be dying of jealous of Athrun." She laughed. "But you aren't here, so you can't feel it."

"I know you never accepted, but I love him too."

She wept. There was something she never admitted to him. Even thought she had hurt people she loved the most, him and Athrun, she never regretted what she did.

"What a shame isn't it? My moralistic side is hypocrite."

_But the love I felt for you… that was real, even if your time__ together was so little… Because when I realized that I loved you, you died…_

She walked thought the others graves, towards the exit.

_Yes, I can't run away from those things, I was the one who betrayed you... But, if this comforts you, that time you were just someone worth to be the Representative's husband, someone that I reckon I could build up a life with. Even i__f this hurts, I never regretted what I did. And I never will. _

Cagalli thought that she was over it. That she had no sorrow left… But she was wrong, she had.

She had her guilty, because her crime was her most beautiful joy. How ironic.

How ironic the reason why she couldn't forget the past, was the reason of her smiles.

The most treasured thing in the world for her…

_Alice…_

"Alice, do you know what day is today?" She asked.

Cagalli was seated in her daughter bed. Mana had wakened up her a while ago. Cagalli had already come back from the cemetery.

"Monday?" Alice answered, still dizzy.

"Today, I and your father would be doing eleven years of married." Cagalli smiled to her. "After school, then, we will go to the cemetery, to put flowers in his grave."

It wasn't a question.

"Ok." The girl said.

"Mom…"

"What, sweetie?"

"Is that all right if I can't remember father very well?"

"Of course is Ok, you were too young. You had only four years."

"Ok, then." said Alice embracing the mother.

Cagalli caress her daughter's hair, and embraced her too.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Why?" Alice asked.

Cagalli just smiled.

_Alice, would you want me to marry again?_ Cagalli thought but didn't dare to say phrase phrase aloud.

"Let's take breakfast" said Cagalli, although.

"Yeah." agreed Alice.

Then, the two left the room and turn off the lights.

**A/N: I'm back XD **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

It was one of _those_ days. Cagalli was having an extra dose of reunions and to complete, the amount of things to do seemed endless. Cagalli was feeling dizzy already, maybe or specially because she didn't have lunch… actually, she didn't stand out of her chair for a long time, hours, she could guess.

"Get out of that chair." Marilyn while entering in her room with no ceremony, like most of the times.

"What?" Cagalli asked.

"You didn't have lunch, did you?"

"Neither you."

"Oh, I ate three sandwiches… but you didn't eat anything."

"I ate an apple."

"Half of an apple! I ate the other half. And that's only because I came here to bring it to you!"

"Wherever"

"You have to eat. It's already four in the afternoon."

"Yeah. I have to eat but I have to finish this because I have to give an answer before five."

"You are the boss! You don't have to answer anything to anyone!"

"I know I am the boss but it wouldn't be funny if I go to the reunion without a solid argument."

"Can I bring sandwich for you, then?"

"A sandwich would be lovely."

"Ok."

"Mary…"

"What?"

"To the new ambassador, have the Ministry appointed the names yet?"

"Yes, it's almost done. Someone will bring to you tomorrow.

"Ok."

"In the speed things are going, _he_ will star working here in less than a month. You know you actually promoted him, don't you?"

"Less then a month?"

"Yeah…and you are being very gentle…"

"He is efficient." Cagalli answered.

"This isn't under discussion. The statistics prove very well that he is efficient…But is not about that I am worried."

"What you are worried about?"

"He is going to work in the floor under you."

"And?"

"Something tells me that this is going to be funny." Mary said with a smile.

Cagalli didn't answer. The sound of her cell phone saved her.

"Hello Cagalli. Guess who is coming to Orb for the holiday?" asked Lacus, in a very cheered voice.

"Who? What holiday?"

"The holiday is going to happen here in PLANTs in a week."

"I didn't kwon about that!"

Mary left the room, sighing.

"But nevertheless, guess who is coming to Orb in the holiday."

"Please don't say Athrun…"

"It's me Cagalli."

"Oh, you. Fine then, where you and Kira are going to stay? If you want my house has a hundred bedrooms."

"Your castle do you mean. But Kira is not coming. He has to work… And thanks for the offer but I am going to stay in a hotel."

"Are you coming alone?"

"Exactly. I need to take a time… you know… to breath…rest"

"I understand… but you must visit me. I won't have much time but we can manage."

"Of course, you don't even need to say. I can cook you a dinner, it's been ages since the last time I really cooked an entire dinner for someone. Alice can help me can't she?"

"Yes. Try to teach my daughter to be useful in the kitchen, because I am already lost."

Lacus laughed.

After a few time, they say goodbye and closed the phone.

_This is bad. This is very bad. _Cagalli thought.

Lacus was coming to Orb for the holiday. Alone.

_Kira is going to work, but nevertheless Lacus is coming alone. This is not usual! _

They always did everything together. Lacus never before had traveled alone to breathe, to rest or something alike. _Never._

Cagalli felt very desperate at any thinking about then splitting up. That just couldn't happen…

Everything she could do to impede then from splitting up, she would certainly do!

_Oh, stop it, you are being to negative, Lacus wants to rest, no one said nothing by far related with divorce here._

There was something more real to think about, like Kira's request.

_Kira asked __me to talk with Lacus… but if she confesses something important, will I just tell kira? No I can't do it with Lacus… but Kira has asked me… _

_But I won't betray Lacus' trust …no… I can't do it… Sorry Kira… _

That was a really uneasy situation…

* * *

Lacus came in the middle of the week, and stayed in the hotel. She and Cagalli talked by phone three times a day, but Cagalli just got time to went out with Lacus in the Saturday afternoon, her last but one day in Orb.

"When was the last time you made shopping?" Lacus asked, after they came back to Cagalli's house full of packages.

"I buy things when I need then, but shopping, the last time was with you."

"But it was months ago!" said Lacus.

They and threw it all in the sofa near where Alice was playing videogame like always. The girl turned her face to peer at the amount of very colorful packages, imagining what could come out of then.

"Mom doesn't care for clothes." said Alice, who couldn't move her face from the colorful packages.

"But you do, don't you, Alice?" asked Lacus.

"Yes!" said the little girl.

"I know." said Lacus. "And because I am a very kind aunt… this is for you." Lacus gave her a pink package.

Alice cheered.

"And this is something that I found… hope you like it" Cagalli gave her a plain and white package with nothing that could identify from where it had come.

"But open the Lacus' first"

The girl opened happily and cheered with the (pink) clothes she has won.

"Thank Lacus, Alice." Ordered Cagalli.

"Thank you aunt Lacus." Said the girl.

"How sweet." Said Lacus, smiling.

Then Alice turned to Cagalli, looking at the white present.

"Open" Cagalli gave her the package and in less than a minute she was cheering and jumping and screaming of happiness.

"Thank you mom, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you!" She embraced her mom, and kissed her and then carried the book to her room.

Cagalli smiled proudly looking to the corridor where Alice had vanished.

"That is the last book from a series she loves. It was only supposed to come out in a few days, but you know… I Am the Representative Athha"

The two of then laughed.

"So, my idea of making the dinner with her it's lost!" Lacus asked Cagalli.

"Sorry"

"It's okay, I can manage" said Lacus looking at Cagalli with a smile.

" No. don't even think, I don't cook"

"Fine, then just do what I say"

Lacus end up dragging her to the kitchen.

One hour later Mana came to call Alice to dinner, but once she knew her mother had helped, she just kept staring at the food.

"Aren't you going to eat, Alice?" Asked Cagalli.

"It's okay" Assured Lacus, eating.

"Hey!" Said Cagalli who didn't like the rejection of her food.

Lacus laughed but Alice tried it.

"I bet you just mixed the ingredients!"

"I did the past too"

"I actually I just supervised, you mother did the pie"

Alice looked at Cagalli not convinced at all.

"Okay, so Alice I assume you will skip the desert once I made it too…"

"No mom, hummm this pie… is … wonderful"

Cagalli looked at her and Alice gave her a big and fake smile.

"So wise" Said Cagalli, with a fake smile, to her daughter.

After they all eat the desert Alice run to her room to keep reading the book while Lacus and Cagalli went to the balcony, which had some divans where they took a seat.

"It was really good." said Lacus to Cagalli.

"Thank you… but you did most of it."

"I missed cooking so much! I have no time nowadays"

"I bet you do."

"She is very joyful and full of energy."

"huh?"

"Alice, Cagalli… I can't explain, but seeing her so joyful with life makes me nostalgic." said Lacus, looking at the sky "I guess is my age".

Cagalli looked at her not wanting to reply.

"She looks like you… but sometimes she looks like her father, like when she listen what other people say!" – teased Lacus, bringing the subject back to Alice.

"Yes. Sometimes she looks a lot like her father." said Cagalli.

"You have luck; she is a very good girl."

"I know." Cagalli smiled.

Lacus smiled with an enigmatic smile, someway hopeful and sad at the same time.

"You are a really great mother."

"Really? You think that?... I am always working!"

"But you are." said Lacus. "I know you don't believe me, but you are."

"I wish Alice thinks the same."

"She does." She breathed "Cagalli…"

"What?"

Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but I will.

"What?"

"Athrun is here, in Orb, he is looking for an apartment."

Cagalli didn't answer; she just kept looking at anything.

"Lacus."

"What?"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I don't know what I want to do with my life." She simply answered.

"Both of us… Is everything fine between you and Kira?"

"Everything is fine with Kira, but not with me."

"What do you mean?"

Lacus took a breath before speaking again.

"Cagalli, I am always working. Always… I don't have time to Kira anymore! I feel like I am absent from my like. And it feels bad."

"I know how you feel."

"You know Kira works as much as I do and most of times we just met late of night, in the bed. And for sleep, because we are so tired that sleep is all we can do."

"This is politics; this is a politician life, work. Sometimes I get really tired, of course, but, I realized that I like doing it. I like when I say something and people listen to me. I like when I can change things for better."

"I know… but I keep feeling like I am losing something…That I am losing him… and…"

"I understand what you feel but Kira loves you!"

"But we have no time to have a life anymore. We just put that aside. Looks like we are together because we have always been together like an habit!"

"Yeah." said Cagalli, just to occupy the uneasy silence.

"If you could give up, Cagalli, if you some way could just live your life with Alice and even with Athrun, without all this responsibility, would you do it?"

"I don't know. I feel tempted to say yes… and my hypocrite side tells me say no… But I have two meanings in my life, my daughter and my work… Alice will grow up, and will want to pursue her life, and then I guess I would feel useless without work…."

_This is an excuse, Cagalli, a hypocrite excuse. _

"I see." Lacus hesitated before saying something else. "I don't know too."

"If I really could, I would work less. Like the half. I'm coming to the point that sometimes I work twelve yours in a day… But unfortunately, in this politics this is the way thing are. And I don't have the choice to leave. Just do what will make you happy, Lacus, even if that means give up from the politics."

Lacus didn't say a thing.

"Want wine?" asked Cagalli, rising from the table.

"No, thanks, I don't feel like drinking."

"Ok, then."

"I am going home."

"Lacus..."

"What?"

"It sucks, you know… I work sometimes twelve, thirteen hours for day, six or seven days per week… I feel like Alice is growing without having a proper mother and I have no damn help with her. It really sucks. Right know if, I could choose I would vanish and live in one island fort at least ten years. Just me Alice, Athrun and the island"

_A bit… or better saying a lot of sincerity._ Thought Cagalli.

Lacus looked at her. The two started to laugh from nothing, after that.

"Let's make a deal then, you take one side of the desert island, and me and Kira take the other"

"Yeah… seems just perfect"

They still kept saying nonsense for a while before Lacus really stand to leave.

"Thank you" Lacus smiled grateful to Cagalli.

"For nothing" Replied Cagalli.

Lacus left right after. Then Cagalli opened a bottle of wine to herself.

_So this is the reason Lacus feel so lost. She wants to li__ve her life… _

_I know this feeling so well too… _

Cagalli sighed. She didn't have chosen her life. She didn't choose what she wants to do. Since her last name became Athha, it was settled.

_Would you really give up if you could? _

_Would you? _

She couldn't answer; she just couldn't make up her mind. Some part of her didn't let her say yes. But she couldn't just say no.

A lot of thing passed trough her mind. She couldn't just give up, there were things she needed to do, things that just she had the power to do, so she wouldn't give up.

And she liked being bossy.

She smiled a sad smile.

Well, however, she couldn't give up, and she wouldn't do it, jus because she unlike Lacus didn't have a choice. End of the story.

She sighed again and drunk a gulp of wine.

If she could just work a little less, thing would be a lot easier…

* * *

A couple of hours after Lacus left Kira called Cagalli, like predicting that she had talked to Lacus.

"Do you remember that I asked you to talk to Lacus about what is happening, once you had a chance?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, have you talked to her?"

"Yes, but…"

"Cagalli, if she told you what the hell is happening, please, I beg you to tell me."

Cagalli noticed something was wrong, Kira was too desperate…

"Is everything all right with you?"

"No."

"Want to tell me?"

"So, she hasn't told you yet?"

"What?" Cagalli held her breath, not so certain if she wanted to hear the answer… what the hell had happened between then?

"She just phoned me and said she wants to stay in Orb for more time."

"Like a few days?"

"She didn't say, she just said she wants more time."

"And her work?"

"She is taking some days off; she said is to take care of her healthy."

Cagalli could sense in his tone that he was mad.

_No, not mad, he is frustrated. He is frustrated because he __doesn't know and can't understand what is happening… and he is afraid to lose her. _

"Did she tell you something?"

_Shit… _

"No not at all I mean… Just that she need to rest" said Cagalli.

_What a lie. Good… _She was nervous and she hated herself to lie to Kira in this situation, but she couldn't just tell every detail of her conversation with Lacus, after all she had trusted Cagalli and for some reason didn't told the same to Kira, so she should respect it… _Shouldn't I? _

"Are you certain, Cagalli?"

" Yes, Kira, I think she just need a few days off, she is happier now than she looked the last time I saw her in PLANTs… maybe she is just tired."

"Tired of what? Of me?"

"Kira, she loves you!"

"She told you this?"

She hesitated.

"Yes. She did." _Well, she actually Would take you for the desert island... _

"Really? Aren't you just lying to me to make me feel better?" asked Kira, suspicious.

"No. I am not." _Not at all... _

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kira. I am."

"Well, if you are saying this only to comfort me I have to admit that is working."

"Good." Cagalli smiled.

Kira sighed.

"I wont take anything else from you will I?"

"No"

"Good night, Cagalli."

"Good night, Kira."

_Why the hell life is so complicated?_

Cagalli asked after she threw her cell phone in the sofa.

_Just why?_

* * *

The next Monday, It was her time to facer her own life, and the things she couldn't stop, even with fear and doubts. And she did it.

At seven o'clock in the afternoon, after a very irksome reunion, the name of the new ambassador had been decided, and the Athrun's new function in Orb reassured.

It was even placed the date he would start his work, in one week, more precisely, in the next Monday.

So, there was Cagalli with the pen in her hands, signing the documents.

When she started, she was scared, but when she finished the last line in the last page of the document, she wasn't scared anymore, maybe because that was her work, maybe because everything was still calm.

"Are you all right?" asked Marilyn.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Mary smiled.

"Always the tough guy isn't Cagalli?" said Mary.

"I heard you went out with Corner is that true?"

"Short of."

"Short of?"

"I met him in a bar in he paid me a drink, while we complained about work… and now he thinks that I am crazy for him."

"This is bad."

"Indeed."

"Mary, why do you want to marry so much?"

"I want a man that would love me so much and I would love him so much that we would want to spend the rest of our lives together. That's why"

She just said, like saying that was a trivial and simple thing, and didn't say anything else.

"I have to come back to work now" She left the room.

Cagalli kept looking to the place Mary was before living.


End file.
